Written by: Mike Epstein (@MikeENJ) AKA New Jersey’s #1 Laker fan
Well, it looks like the Brooklyn Nets were who we they thought they were. The same old laughing stock of a team. The Nets lost to the Los Angeles Lakers 95-90 at the Staples Center last night. The newly improved Nets have had a spark of life this season as they went into last night’s matchup at 6-2, a considerably better record than their dismal seasons in previous years. There’s a new era in Brooklyn and besides getting smacked by the Miami Heat, this was the Nets’ second real test of the season. Needless to say, they failed.
The Nets had a chance to tie the game on their final possession as they trailed 93-90. Deron Williams caught the inbounds pass and launched an ugly three that hit backboard and bounced off the rim. The Laker possession before that saw Pau Gasol almost turn the ball over, however Kobe Bryant miraculously jumped over two lackadaisical Net defenders to recover the ball.
Maybe Deron Williams’ hair gel slipped onto his hands and he lost control of the ball on the last shot. Who knows. Kris Humphries is still running around looking for Kim Kardashian in the stands. Brook Lopez has doofus imprinted on his forehead and is running around like a lost space cadet. Joe Johnson had 14 points on an incredibly inefficient 6-14 shooting and 2-7 from three point range.
Big man Andre Blatche had a staggering four points and really used his size to pull in three rebounds. Jerry Stackhouse doesn’t really he’s almost 60 years old. MarShon Brooks, who has largely been labeled an athletic sensation, scored 0 points. Mighty Mouse C.J. Watson scored 8 points that probably resulted in the defense feeling bad for how small he is.
On the flip side of things, the Lakers only had NINE guys suit up. Paul Gasol dominated the inside with 17 points and 11 rebounds. Metta World Peace also added in 17 points and 8 boards. Dwight Howard had his way with Lopez as he went for a double double with 23 and 15. Even Darius Morris (who?) managed to score 3 points against the Nets’ defense. And then there’s Kobe, who finished with 25 points on 8-15 shooting and hit all the clutch free throws down the stretch.
Mike D’Antoni had an impressive coaching debut and might even become sponsored by Pringles. Meanwhile, Avery Johnson is scrambling all over the court yelling in a foreign language.
While the Nets are far removed from the dump in the Meadowlands they used to call home, their play hasn’t quite caught up yet.
Kobe bets Gerald Wallace $5000 on a free throw. Read Kobe’s lips, “How much you want to put on it? How much you want to put on it? Five grand? Right here?